THE BLARNEY STANE

Hae iver ye hearad o’ the Blarney Stane?
There, noo, my freens, don’t laugh.
For it’s magic spell might knock ye stiff
If ye gibe wae useless chaff.

It’s true enough the stane’s a right,
Bigget up in a wall;
And if ye want the gift o’ the gabe
Tae it ye are bound tae call.

Be sure and be supplied wae wings,
Its awfoo risky am told,
Tae be held by a chap upside down,
If he shud let go his hold.

But hae a smack whuter’er the cost,
And test its virtues sure;
Its mysterious charm is freely bestowed,
Tae rich and also poor.

If ye hae a girl ye want tae wed,
Merry hir whun she’s young;
For if she is old and kisses that stane,
You niver cud stan her tongue.

If you be lucky to keep hir awa’
And gets a smack yersel,
Ye might hae a chance tae haud yer ain,
But there – yin never can tell.

A herd o’ a chap whun he got wed
Wuz awfoo fond o’ his wife;
But his ma-in-la’ had a terrible tongue
Whut made him scared o’ his life.

S awa’ he goes tae Blarney Stane,
Determined tae hae a kiss,
And then came hame and lived in peace
A matrimonial bliss.

Alas for him, times wur changed
Whuniver that he got back,
His misses, of course, she welcomed him
And then she started tae crack.

She talked away from morn till night
Until his ears they rung,
And try as we wud no chance had he
To slip in the enge o’ his tongue.

Thinks he, this wuz a folly in me,
Tae trivil sae far by train,
For firmly believe at hame she had
A chip o’ the Blarney Stane.

A expect the chap he is deed by noo,
Or else he is leevin’ alane,
For he niver cud stan’ hir rattling tongue,
Since she kissed the Blarney Stane.

So noo, am awa’ tae try my luck,
An’ if iver you see me again,
A hope A wull hae something new
Efter kissin’ the Blarney Stane.

J.M.C. Cullybackey, 5th January 1914