I’ll tell you what, my worthy freen
Fou o’ fire as weel as spleen,
Filled wae every Christian grace,
Leaders o’ the human race,
If ambition’s height you’d reach,
Life up your hands an’ pray an’ preach.

Then into office you wul get,
Road to Power’s Minaret;
Who wul doubt in you to trust;
Who will say you are na just,
When with Pharisaic screech,
Publicly you pray an’ preach.

Men wul pause ere they offen’ you,
E’en the rich folks they wul ken you,
Simple fauts wul ne’er te kent,
Wha wul daur tae gee them vent,
While you’re heard ‘neath pine or beech,
In open air tae pray an’ preach.

Wee things like justice may be hang’t;
Never mind a neighbour wrang’t;
Clods like these are little worth,
Silly themes that smack o’ earth,
You’ll be aye aboun their reach
While you’re heard tae pray an’ preach.

Ne’er let charity come in,
Least it cloak the pad tae sin,
Godly elders in your pew,
Remnant o’ the chose few,
Guard the folk within your reach
Train them weel tae pray and preach.

Tae holy weman tell your story;
Saintly wives wha wed in glory,
Shud their wee yins in their youth
But economise the truth,
Whun their intellect does streech,
The’ll be sure tae pray an’ preach.

Nae need for licenced preachers now,
Ancient church or lowly pew;
Why shud ministers be paid,
Or susteniation claims defrayed,
When we hae within our reach
Men wha wull fer nothing preach.

Nae need ava for school or college,
For tae dull your brains wae knowledge,
Nature’s gif has made you glad
In whine o’ speech St, Paul ne’er had;
Wherefore then to college reach,
Your truly fit tae pray an’ preach.

Lang ago a certain race
Held forth in ilka market place,
Wae upturned eyes in holy glare,
They spun their lang historic prayer;
Their shade is aye within our reach
Go on like them an’ pray and preach.

What need for doctors tae gae ease,
When faith an’ prayer can cure disease;
This simple lotion bear in min’,
You’ll get ra ‘neath the vinter’s sign;
Mankin’ may thus his short span streech
Go on my boys an’ pray an’ preach.

Cullybackey Auld Nummer, 30th March 1891

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