A LOCAL LEGEND

Ur iver you ur I wur born,
Fur so the yarn beging,
Thir wus a famous wit leeved here,
An’ thus the legend rins.
It may be true ur partly false;
I niver knew the man;
So tak it wae the pinch o’ saut;
As it is second han’
Foo stale this day.

Hooiever, at ye olden time
This Mister Colvin thought
He’d hae a hoose an’ gardin fine,
If it was tae be got.
His granted wish wus on these terms
That he wud big a wa’
Foo six feet heich right roon the place
Tae mak’ it his by la’
Foo foul that day.

His capital wus smal’ indeed,
His credit also bad,
Which put him in an awfoo plight,
An’ made him kin’ o’ mad.
Jist thin relief appear’d in sicht,
In person o that yin
Wha gars folk dae sic wickit things,
E’en al’ that’s bandit sin
Foo bad this day.

Quoth he, “it’s Mister Colvin dear,
I’m sorry noo fur thee,
Whud wul’ ye tak an’ gee yerzel’
Furevermair tae me?”
“It’s ricky work,” Colvin replied,
“An’ monie hae ye fool’d;
Bit lit it be if you fill me
This boot wae guinea goold”
Fopo bricht this day.

The boot wus placed on the laft flair,
A hole bin cut richt through,
Thus Satan had tae fill the room
Before the boot wus foo.
Fur which he had tae rab the seas
An’ steal a farmer’s rent,
Bekase, ye kne, his majesty
Wus niver wurth a cent
His richest day.

Wurk went apace mile after mile,
The famous wa1 stud up,
Guid masons had yin D per day,
An’ neither bit nur sup.
This wud nae please the union now,
Nur ony here o’ us,
These dear auld times, these guid auld times,
O’ which some mak’ sic fuss
Foo lood this day.

Bit by an’ bye the buyer came
Tue tak his ain below;
The sould yin made this firm resolve
That there he wud nae go.
Therefore he wroucht a crafty dodge,
At least so people say,
By rushin’ tae the guid auld Book,
Posin’ tae read an’ pray
Foo hard that day.

He said, “I’ll go wae three auld freen,
An’ that withoot a doot
Whuniver this wee bit o’ licht
Is burnt completely oot.”
Thin lock’d al’ in an iron kist,
As straightway oot he stole,
An’ threw it intae that nice place,
Aye known as Colvin’s hole,
Foo deep this day.

Young Nummer, January 1907